Fall Semester 2004

So it has been a while since I wrote about the happenings in my life, for one, because I haven’t had time to sit down and write since the semester started, and two, because my life was falling apart. So in brief, this is what went on since August.

I traveled to Baja Mexico, Bahia de Los Angeles, with the fish class. I got to learn about all the different kinds of fish in the area and how to kill them, for research of course. The diving was beautiful; I even saw some black coral, a giant ray, some cool scorpion fish, etc. The drive was long, but it was interesting to see all the different towns we drove through on the way there. I even learned what to do when you get a sting ray spine in your foot, eek!

Since Mexico, it has been work. I taught two classes, spent all my free time on Catalina Island, and took an invertebrate zoology class. If you know anything about what I’m working on for my thesis, you know that I’ve been struggling diving in 6 feet of water, in very rough conditions, counting anemones and removing algae for about 5 or 6 months now. I’ve gathered a good amount of data, but something seems to be missing. And it was this missing component that started to become a problem back in October. One advisor felt that my methods weren’t working and I was faced with the knowledge that the last 5 months of work, of hammering, nailing, counting, for hours and hours underwater might be all a waste. I was devastated, obviously, but not ready to give up. In the back of my mind I was also cursing the fact that I had spent weeks, months at Catalina working on research that was falling apart and not being there for Jonathan and his own research problems for most of the summer, and little of the school year.

November rolled around. I talked to my other advisor and decided to compromise on adjusting some of my techniques in order to try to save some of the work I had been doing for so long. So, no it wasn’t all a waste, as of yet. I’m waiting to see what I can come up with in January. November also brought the Western Society of Naturalists meeting in northern California, wine country. I met some interesting contacts, my presented poster went over well and I was starting to feel excited about my work again. It’s always nice to hear that other people actually find what you’re doing exciting too. However, it was also pretty obvious that the stress and the time spent on my work had taken its toll on me and my relationship.

The next couple weeks brought the death of my grandmother, time in NY over thanksgiving for the funeral and finally, the end of my relationship. It seems I should have seen it coming for a long time. Stress, distance, assumptions and misunderstandings make a mess of anyone’s life, and that’s just what happened to mine.

So I am home for the holidays. It’s a different holiday this year. I’m facing a New Year with little to go on. This year will bring many new things and that should be exciting, but intimidating because I don’t know what any of those new things will be. I feel much unprepared. So, my New Years resolution is to do a little soul searching, to find myself again, and to find my direction. What do we all want to really get out of life anyway? It’s probably the first year that I have ever felt the true need to have a resolution, and it’s a big one. Let me know what yours are this year. Lets hope 2005 brings with it as many happy memories and turning points as 2004 did.

Take care everyone. Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!